“All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
-Alexander Woollcott
Yesterday, I turned 50.
Daaaaaaayuuuuuuum!!!!
I know, right?
Five years ago, if you’d asked me what I would be doing on my 50th birthday, I would have told you – with a huge smile on my face – that I would in a Vegas penthouse, partying like a rockstar and fucking whomever I pleased, as many times as I pleased.
Honestly. That’s what I would’ve said.
Ten years ago, I would’ve told you that I’d be getting a facelift on my 50th birthday. Oh, to be young and vain…
Twenty years ago, I would’ve told you that I probably wouldn’t live to see 50, and MANY people would’ve easily agreed with that statement. I wasn’t on the Crazy Train. I was driving the son of a bitch like a coked-out mad woman.
But yesterday, even though I was surprisingly still breathing, I wasn’t in Vegas, and I damn sure wasn’t under the knife, turning back time. (You know you heard the Cher song in your head, too!)
Am I maturing?
Seriously doubtful.
I wasn’t anywhere I wanted to be – not professionally, nor personally – and that reality stung like a mothertrucker.
I’m not gonna lie…I cried, and had a big ole’ pity party for myself.
Worst. Birthday. Ever.
“Where’s the positivity in all of this?” you may be asking yourself…
Hang on…it’s coming. (That’s what he said!)
In the midst of all of my self-reflection and sobbing yesterday, I realized that something great had happened.
My brother, who I haven’t heard from in more than two years, texted me and wished me a happy 50th birthday.
I’m not going to say that an olive branch was extended, but maybe the shut door was unlocked, and that really touched me.
It gave me hope.
Each of us continues to get up every day.
Today, I woke up feeling no older, no wiser, no skinnier, no smarter, no sexier, no funnier than the day before.
Damn it!
However, I did go about my normal morning routine with a hint of a smile on my face, because Fred had texted me.
So my hope for you today, (as I drone on incessantly about my crappy birthday) is that you think of someone you love and smile, or maybe even make the choice to unlock a door you slammed shut for whatever reason.
Oh! And EAT CAKE!!!
Life is too damn short to shut out the people you love and not eat cake.
People & cake.
That’s what it’s all about, people.
I think I may be onto something here . . .
More tomorrow,
-A