“If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.”
The perfect combination: Coffee, chocolate & bacon.
Not much of a morning person?
Those people that jump out of bed, usually before the alarm even goes off, are people I cannot relate to.
In my mind, jumping out of bed and taking off like someone lit a firecracker under your butt = mental derangement.
I need to eeeeeeeeeeeease myself into the day — not jump into it, like an old Ford being forced to turn over, on a cold winter morning, hooked up to jumper cables with 12 volts of electrical juice running through them.
Preferably, my jump-start comes from 2-4 delicious cups of coffee.
That all-important first cup of coffee:
This is critical. It must be hot, and I must be left alone.
Just me and this wondrous brew, working its way through my personal startup system.
My second cup:
Now, I’m up. I’m moving. Most likely, I’m throwing the ball for a spirited game of catch with two little dogs. The TV gets flicked on, and I’m half-assed listening to what’s happening in the world. I’m talking — either to the dogs, myself or the news anchors on the TV. The day has officially started.
Three cups and it’s on:
Oh, it’s on, now. By this point, I’m making some sort of breakfast, and mentally making a list of what’s on the agenda for today. In fact, I’m probably writing a list for today’s tasks to tackle in the notes on my ancient iPhone. The dogs are eating their breakfast, and probably half of mine.
The fourth cup is always a throw-away:
My fourth cup is mobile. It sits on the bathroom counter for me to sip on, while I apply makeup and blow-dry my hair. It’s get cold. Once I’m “ready” for the day, this cup is carried back to the kitchen and unceremoniously dumped down the sink’s drain. Carrying it around is more habitual than consumable. (Don’t hate me!)
When I was in Iraq, there were three of us that were pretty tightly knit.
I won’t go into the long-story of it, but we had a little propane burner, an old, beat-up silver tea pot that some Iraqi had given to us somewhere along the way, and instant coffee. We kept sugar packets from the DFACs and coffee creamer from the PX stocked in the truck.
We were our very own mobile Starbucks, because — like I said — not much happens in my world until I’ve had some coffee.
We’d go through a variation of the coffee ritual I’ve just lined out. Coffee first, then talk about what today’s mission was, and how it would play out.
We’d drink coffee, smoke cigarettes, talk and laugh.
One day, one of them suggested the thing that could make our morning coffee sessions even better would be CHOCOLATE.
Have you ever heard a more brilliant idea?
Back then, we were all in the best physical shape of our lives. Our jobs were EXTREMELY physically demanding, and we didn’t always have the opportunity to eat when everyone else did.
On top of that, we were constantly challenging each other with who could do the most push-ups, or who could go the longest without eating one carb. Hey, we were stressed and need distractions, and came up with the best that we could.
We didn’t eat a lot of chocolate, while sipping on coffee.
Only one or two squares from the Hersey’s bar or three or four M&Ms. It was just enough to add that sweetness to the bitterness of the instant coffee.
I’ll still have a couple of M&Ms in the morning with my second or third cup of coffee, from time to time. It’s a fricking-delicious combination.
I left Iraq just over a decade ago.
Occasionally, now, I’ll add bacon to the coffee delightfulness mix.
Coffee, chocolate & bacon = Coffee + Sweet + Salty
I cannot even begin to tell you how good it is. Just a little bit of bacon — about a third of a slice.
Try it out for yourselves, and let me know what you think.