If I Was Loni Anderson – 1-Mar-2021

WKRP

We made it to March, didn’t we?

Hell yes, we did.

Amen in orange neon

We’re in the homestretch of winter coming to an end, and I, for one, am so very thankful.

Don’t ask me why, but today, I got to thinking about my February post, Fleetwood Mac & Arthur Carlson, which referenced one of the greatest shows of all time; WKRP In Cincinnati.

WKRP in Cincinnati, the complete second season

If you’re not hearing the WKRP theme song in your head, I’m not sure we can be friends.

“Baby, if you’ve wondered…

wondered whatever became of me…

I’m living on the air in Cincinnati…

Cincinnati, WKRP…”

Here you go…Click on this little gem…

YES!!!!!!

You know you’re singing it now!

Although, I adored each and every cast member, I had my favorites; Johnny Fever and Les Nessman.

Johnny Fever & Les Nessman

I think every young girl of the 70’s had a crush on Johnny Fever, and Les’s clueless quirkiness just made me laugh.

Still does.

But we all know that the blonde-bombshell receptionist of WKRP, Jennifer Marlowe, actually ran that station, and kept it together.

Loni Anderson - WKRP - on the phone

As I remembered my favorite episode — the episode with the failed Thanksgiving Day promotional turkey drop — I got to wondering what it would’ve been like to be Loni Anderson in the 70’s.

She was killing it, wasn’t she?

Don’t ask me why, but I actually came up with a “If I was Loni Anderson” list.

Wanna see it?

Here it is:

If I was Loni Anderson…

Burt Reynolds — the sexiest man alive and Playgirl Centerfold — would have been in my bed every night and my husband. Daaaaaaayuuuuuuuuum!

Burt & Loni holding hands

If I was Loni Anderson…

I’d probably be STARVING all of the time.

Loni Starving

If I was Loni Anderson…

Burt Reynolds would be husband #2 of four, but I’d still have the right to brag that I banged Burt Reynolds. Girrrrrrrrrlll!!!!

Hand holding up four fingers.

If I was Loni Anderson…

My hair salon and spray tan bills would be astronomical!

If I was Loni Anderson…

I’d be a former model WITH a college education (University of Minnesota).

Loni Anderson in Blue

If I was Loni Anderson…

Rockin’ the red, one-piece bathing suit on posters hung in millions of teenage boys’ bedrooms, would make Baywatch look like a bunch of copycats.

Loni Anderson in red bathing suit

If I was Loni Anderson…

It would alarm me how much my facial structure resembles Sally Field’s (Burt had a “type”!)

Sally Field & Loni Anderson

If I was Loni Anderson…

Being from Minnesota and the Miss Minnesota runner up (1964), I would be an example of Northern Girl Beauty.

If I was Loni Anderson…

The secret that I auditioned for the role of Chrissy, on Three’s Company and didn’t get it, wouldn’t matter because I still did REALLY WELL for myself.

Three's Company

If I was Loni Anderon…

The breast reduction surgery I had, before I arrived in Hollywood, would be one of my best-kept secrets.

Let’s sing the rest of it…

“Got kinda tired of packing and unpacking…

town to town, up and down the dial…

Maybe you and me were never meant to be…

Just maybe think of me, once in awhile…

I’m at W.K.R.P. in Cincinnati…”

More tomorrow,

-A


Restart. Refocus. Reinvent.


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