Today has been one of those WTF? Tuesdays.
In my mind right now, I hear y’all collectively saying, “Yeah, we feel you.”
Thankfully, these days are pretty few and far between. I’m reminded of my former trainer’s words, “You can either view it as an anthill or a ten-foot wall with razor wire.”
I’m choosing to view today as an teeny-tiny anthill.
Wait a minute.
Let me correct that.
The correct way to say that would be:
I’m choosing to deal with today’s landslide of roadblocks by stomping on that anthill, kicking the dirt 20 feet in the air, and then coming back with a gas can and creating my own little anthill Armageddon (Looooove that movie!).
Pipe down, PETA people. It’s a figurative anthill.
Tomorrow is another day…
Did you know…?
Statistically (you know I love stats), Tuesday is the most productive day of the conventional workweek.
You’ve gotten Monday out of the way. You haphazardly drug your reluctant assess into work, and everyone’s all caught up on what everyone else did over the weekend.
Not much is accomplished on Mondays, ya bunch of water-cooler chit chatters!
Just kidding! You know I love you more than my luggage!
Today, WTF? Tuesday, is the day to buckle down and make it happen.
The second day of the workweek is also the biggest sales day for coffee shops.
Every coffee shop drive-thru line is loooooooong on a Tuesday morning.
God bless the person that looked at the coffee bean and thought, “I’ll roast this bean, and then I’ll grind it up and then I’ll pour really hot water over it.”
We. Freakin’. Love. You.
Pretty sure his name is/was Juan.
I can’t make that statement definitively, but it just feels like this coffee-creating genius was probably named Juan.
Last name Valdez.
If you’re not seeing the commercial with the burrow in your head right now, you’re not a real coffee connoisseur.
And you damn sure aren’t as old as I am.
That’s probably a good thing.
You probably don’t remember a little song, by an group of good ol’ boys from Florida, called Tuesday’s Gone, either.
RULE # 722: Any band that names themselves after their high school gym teacher is an awesome band.
The third day of the week is also the day that the most resumes/applications are submitted.
It looks like a lot of folks finally reach their tipping point on Monday, after listening to some Karen excitedly drone on and on about her kids’ Saturday soccer playoff games — in excruciating detail — “Little Austin was just running ALL OVER that field!” — followed by mind-numbing explanation of the boring roast she braised on Sunday.
Take This Job And SHOVE IT!
According to a real study — not really, I’m totally making this shit up as I go — Californians barbecue less on Tuesdays.
Just slide on into the ocean, already, would you?
But this next Tuesday fact, is an actual fact.
Do you trust me yet?
What? No? I’m crushed.
The Big Kahuna!
The second Tuesday of each month is often referred to as “Patch Tuesday.”
That’s when Microsoft releases their patches for their software.
This is also why most companies update their software and systems the first weekend of each month — so they can work out the kinks before Microsoft drops their monthly bombs — I mean, software updates.
Oooooooooooh! Now, it’s all coming together!
Here’s my last “real” fact…
Uranus was discovered on a Tuesday!
(You know you’re laughing.)