Jabba The Hutt lives in the greater Puget Sound metropolitan area.
How do I know?
I had the misfortune of meeting her this week.
That’s right. I said, “Her.”
Before I give you the gory details, let me just get this part out there:
I am not a woman that tears down other women.
In fact, I pride myself on being a woman that straightens the crowns of other women without ever saying a word.
To me, it’s important that women lift each other up.
Leave the caddishness and crassness out by the dumpsters, where it belongs.
Also, it’s important to me that I am a woman of integrity, and I do not talk smack about other women behind their backs, for any reason.
That’s said, Jabba The Hutt lives! I met her this week, and she is real.
When her face appeared on the Zoom interview screen, I was literally aghast.
Her resemblance to being a live version of Jabba The Hutt was striking.
Literally, my first thought was, “Holy shit, she looks EXACTLY like Jabba The Hutt, but with HUGE glasses.”
Even though I could only see her from the boobs up, there were dozens of rolls and even some stains on the blue-and-white, horizontally-striped tee shirt she was wearing.
The aforementioned boobs were haphazardly plunked down on the table in front of her and the rolls from under her armpits surrounded their placement on the table, as the mammoth boobs squished out.
The woman was the CEO of a relatively mundane company, which has been in business in for 20+ years.
What struck me immediately — aside from her appearance — was her complete lack of professionalism.
She giggled and chortled, and even snorted at one point, and her entire body shook.
But nothing funny was said…
Second, when she began asking me questions, it was obvious that she had not one clue as to the operational aspects of her company.
Don’t get me wrong.
Jabba The Hutt was obviously intelligent and she had a decent vocabulary.
She was smart.
But she didn’t know a damn thing about the operations of her company or how it had been operating.
Her “Talent Acquisition” person told me that Jabba had fired the long-time Operations/Project Manager, about 8-10 months before I’d met Jabba, via the magic of Zoom.
In fact, the recruiter had nothing positive to say about this living-breathing Jabba at all, and I should’ve taken that as a cue to not proceed.
Perhaps that had influenced my perspective of how Jabba ran her business, but honestly I took the recruiter’s words as a reflection of her lack of professionalism.
The first time her cat crawled onto Jabba’s HEAD and stayed there, with its dark side of the moon aimed directly at the camera, Jabba laughed and didn’t really make a move to get the cat off of her head.
Salacious B. Crumb ringing any bells right about now?
Eventually, the cat was removed, and she halfheartedly apologized, and I was sitting there, looking into the camera, trying NOT to furrow my eyebrows and ask, “How in the hell have you stayed in business?”
When the cat was removed, Jabba’s frizzy wig was slightly askew.
She lost her connection once and then came back into the Zoom meeting, steamrolling right over her Business & Development Consultant, who was attempting to outline the projected work and some future work.
Jabba’s blue-tipped acrylic nails were waving in the screen, “Can you see me?!?!?”
I watched the Talent Aquistition person roll her eyes at the B&D person.
If it hadn’t been so surreal, it would’ve been hilarious.
“Crumb” jumped back onto her head.
Another insincere apology.
The wig’s wonkiness went a little more wild.
I’m just going to say this, and you all can take it however you want.
If this had been a MALE CEO, how long do you think that guy would’ve kept his one or two key contracts and stayed in business?
Jabba The Hutt lives and runs a business.
I’m telling you, it’s true.
Even still has an annoying pet.
Final thought: Equality is the law. Respect is earned.